Mid-life Experienced

PageImage-487669-3326911-travel121“This is Opportunity masked in Fear and Darkness.”
-Tana (intuitive, healer, friend)

A few months back, it happened. Sobbing breathlessly in the passenger seat of my cousin’s car, it was identified. My words were choked and my thoughts scattered. But, she looked at me with understanding and said in a matter-of-fact tone that I embraced more than expected: You’re what, 38? Mmm, you’re going through a mid life crisis. This is normal.

And in a span of minutes, the insecurities that came with a career shift, the recognition of a 14 month Laos experiment, the wear and tear of uncertainty around a marriage, the large question of WHAT’S NEXT? hovering over…
…these pieces all compressed into a neat little zip file entitled ‘normal’.

The thing is, we don’t have access to other people’s zip files. We don’t know what they contain or if they exist at all, and at times, we feel we’re the only ones in this mess.

The inaccuracy of perception, right?

Everyone has their stuff-whether it’s as visible as loss or separation, or subtly lingering behind uplifting quotes on a FB status. Life gives us changes and it’s how we show up to them, that counts.

With this in mind, I offer a different perception.

That what is currently happening is not really a crisis at all, but a mid life experience:
tangled, pulsating, in-your-face, opening, hungry, hopeful, lovely.

I don’t need to dye my hair a bold color.
I don’t want to run away and hide.
I may have to ask for help…often.
I will likely change my mind over and over.

This is how I choose to experience my mid life. And, it’s all ok.

[image credit: Shelby Brakken]

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7 comments
  1. Love this piece.

    On a personal level, the last line caught me…it’s all ok…because I just ended a poemwith words to the contrary…but deep underneath, we’re both talking about the same thing. How wonderful…

    So happy I found your blog. Be well~

  2. Anonymous said:

    I wish I had spent more time to get to know you. The more I read about your posts, the more I think I would have been a happier person had I got to know you more. This is a side note though, not about only this post.

    The thing is, all your posts that I read, and I usually do not have anything to write, but all sits perfectly with me. ‘Me, too’ is something too cliche to add to a post like this so I choose to stay quiet but I just want you to know…you are not alone.

    I feel your strength..stay strong.

  3. Hi! I really appreciate your message. The “me too” is enough…more than enough.

    P.S. Who is this?
    :)

  4. Thank you. Have spent some time on your site. Beautiful writing. I will be visiting often.

  5. the image fits with the post perfectly. thanks for including it, friend. am loving this blog–you write words i needed to hear.

  6. I think I could use your photos every time. They say so much on their own.

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