A few months back, it happened. Sobbing breathlessly in the passenger seat of my cousin’s car, it was identified. My words were choked and my thoughts scattered. But, she looked at me with understanding and said in a matter-of-fact tone that I embraced more than expected: You’re what, 38? Mmm, you’re going through a mid life crisis. This is normal.
And in a span of minutes, the insecurities that came with a career shift, the recognition of a 14 month Laos experiment, the wear and tear of uncertainty around a marriage, the large question of WHAT’S NEXT? hovering over…
…these pieces all compressed into a neat little zip file entitled ‘normal’.
The thing is, we don’t have access to other people’s zip files. We don’t know what they contain or if they exist at all, and at times, we feel we’re the only ones in this mess.
The inaccuracy of perception, right?
Everyone has their stuff-whether it’s as visible as loss or separation, or subtly lingering behind uplifting quotes on a FB status. Life gives us changes and it’s how we show up to them, that counts.
With this in mind, I offer a different perception.
That what is currently happening is not really a crisis at all, but a mid life experience:
tangled, pulsating, in-your-face, opening, hungry, hopeful, lovely.
I don’t need to dye my hair a bold color.
I don’t want to run away and hide.
I may have to ask for help…often.
I will likely change my mind over and over.
This is how I choose to experience my mid life. And, it’s all ok.